The last couple of years have brought more millennials to my virtual office than any other time in my coaching career.
A few months ago a couple in their late 20s came to see me. They were recently married and received relationship and intimacy coaching with me as a wedding gift.
They showed up excited to learn how to create a strong partnership and learn the skills that were neither taught to them in school or learned in their past relationships.
Today they sit down together on a twice a month Zoom call with me to express their feelings, work through conflicts, or just focus on their common goal of creating a fun and fulfilling sex life.
The components and skills needed for a happy intimate relationship like: communications, intimacy, vulnerability, eroticism, sexual confidence, don’t just fall into place once we find our person.
Finding our person is actually when the real learning begins.
Relationship coaching teaches couples how to express their needs and set positive habits that support listening and understanding, and intimacy coaching teaches them what it takes to keep sex a vital part of their life together.
Out With The Old
What I’ve noticed is that millennials have outgrown the notion that therapy is somehow shameful, or a secret not to be shared. It’s more likely that they will have sought out a therapist who helped guide them through challenging times.
So, the notion of entering into a relationship coaching process is less foreign to them than it would have been for their parents, and certainly their grandparents.
Most of these young couples show up with the awareness that coaching is not just for the broken relationships that are in their ‘last resort’ phase, but rather millennials see coaching as a tool to help create happy and fulfilling intimate relationships.
They come into relationship coaching already acknowledging that successful relationships don’t just happen, they are intentionally created.
In a report released by the American Psychiatric Association in October 2019, 37% of Gen Z were more likely to have gone to therapy, compared to millennials at 35%, Gen X’ers at 26%, Baby Boomers at 22%, and the Silent Generation 15%.
The Strong and Silent Approach
My parents were of the Silent Generation. World wars, global economical collapse, scarcity, and survival formed their philosophical perspectives early in life. “Get over it, and get on with it” was the therapeutic advice for 85% of their generation.
When my brother died as a teenager, therapy was not an obvious route. I relied mostly on my middle-school councilor to work through my feelings about death and loss. A decade later when I first went to therapy after a relationship breakup, it felt like I was sharing a shameful secret when I finally told my family.
Now four decades later, the stigma around seeking therapy has slowly evolved to where today, many people now see coaching/therapy as a tool toward mental fitness, and even equate its importance to physical fitness.
Building an Unsinkable Relationship
I applaud those who are courageous enough to invest their attention and efforts into making their relationship strong and secure.
Core relationship skills, or in other words, our capacity for compassion and empathy, our ability to communicate effectively and to love and be loved, are the skills that keep us afloat in stormy seas.
What I want for every new young couple to understand is that relationship skills are learnable, and that learning to become a good partner is an ever-evolving, life long education that should begin early in their relationship.
If you are, or you know of, a young couple that have just started their life together, relationship coaching can help them build a solid and secure vessel for their life-long journey of love and intimacy.
I work via Zoom with clients from around the world. There is nothing stopping you from getting the highest quality coaching available, from wherever you happen to live.
I am excited to invite you as we ‘stand with’ men, offering secrets and intimacy advice for your advancement in today’s world of sensual delight. Relax in your chosen space for a dedicated on-line program supporting Men’s journey through intimacy — conversation through penetration, AND THEN SOME.
This NO COST series starts on February 2, 2022. A day considered to be especially lucky for those wishing to break into something new with your lover(s)!
You can register for ‘A Man’s Guide To Intimacy IV, Lets Talk About Sex! The Holy Grail of Intimacy ’ using the following link HERE:
If sex is not on your mind these days, don’t beat yourself up about it. Our bodies are not designed to think about sex when our brains are communicating that we may be in danger. We can’t convince our bodies that we’re safe, when in fact we’re not. When stress is dictating our lack of sexual desire, we need to find ways to regulate our stress. We may not be able to avoid stress, but we can learn to manage it.
Sensual, Tantra, Romance, Passion, Fetish and Kink are all spectrums within the wide world of human sexual expression. Where we find ourselves on that spectrum is part of our journey. Personally, it’s my belief that we narrow our sexual identity far too quickly in life, and exclude other avenues to arousal before we’ve even investigated them fully.
Ask most couples about the early stages of their relationship, and they’ll remember the ease they experienced around sex and intimacy. They’ll stare off into space with memories of testosterone-driven lust and estrogen flooding seduction.