“When was the last time someone touched you?” I asked him. “It’s been 6 months”, he said, looking shocked at hearing his own words. Something so natural as touching a friend in a happy moment has been taken away from us, unless we’ve joined in a pod with one or more equally cautious others. One of life’s great pleasures is suddenly dangerous to ourselves and to those we long to touch.

Three recent conversations with clients inspired me to write about pleasurable touch, and why most people can dish it out, but they can’t take it. There is so much more to touch than laying our hands on another person’s body. There’s context, intention, expectation, desire, sensation, communication. Touch is a language not just between you and your partner’s body, but it’s also a communication between your hands and your brain.