Even in the midst of this unprecedented time, the holiday season is once again upon us.
If you’re fortunate enough to have one or more loved ones around you, you’re probably giving and receiving a gift or two. I’d like to share a few thoughts I have on gifting.
As a little girl, I found it unsettling if gifts were handed out too quickly. After a year of waiting, I wanted to see every single one-on-one gift exchange. I loved watching the eye contact, the smiles and the mutual appreciation.
The final moment of each gift exchange was my favorite. The moment of embrace between the giver and receiver, when hearts would open and feelings would flow.
If gifts are handed out too quickly, those connecting moments can get lost in paper flying and overlapping conversations.
Should you find things moving too fast in your gift exchange this year, be the one to slow things down. Savor the ritual of giving and receiving.
When we hand a gift to a loved one, we can give them our full attention. We’re feeling the gratitude of having them in our lives. We’re taking pleasure in their delight, and experiencing the joy of giving.
When we receive a gift from a loved one, we can appreciate the thought behind the gift and savor the moment of feeling chosen and appreciated. We’re never too old to connect to the child inside who still delights in mystery and surprises.
This year, bring your full attention to the acts of giving and receiving, whether it’s a box wrapped in a bow, or the gift of a long distance phone call. Do it with full awareness.
Squeeze every last drop of gratitude out of the experience, and let your weary heart open wide.
If there’s anything the last 21 months have imprinted on our brains, it’s that time is precious, life is fragile, and love is the greatest gift we have to give and receive.
Helping couples find their path to love and intimacy is one of my greatest joys. If you want to know how relationship coaching can help you along your path, set up a Discovery Call with me and let’s talk.
Shame doesn’t change behavior or eliminate the desire that is motivating our actions. It drives our desires into secrecy, and secrecy coupled with shame undermines the trust and intimacy of a relationship.
Play is a reset button for our over-stressed, news-saturated, time-pressured adult minds. Most couples I work with will readily admit that play is not something they experience on a regular basis. Life has gotten too busy. There’s barely enough time to be alone to talk, much less play.
I was helping a friend celebrate his birthday this week. The 4 of us who attended this little outdoor soiree were diligently wearing our masks and keeping our distance. When someone held up a camera to take a pic of the birthday boy, I jumped up and, without thinking went over to wrap my arm around him and snuggled up close for the camera. In that split second I completely forgot that touching was a risk to both of us. I lurched back, apologizing profusely for my momentary lapse. “When was the last time someone touched you?” I asked him…
I love my couples. They reach out for sex coaching, wanting to create a fulfilling sexual and intimate life. The number one obstacle to achieving their goals is sometimes an unhealthy relationship dynamic. For most of us, opening ourselves to sexuality with our partners requires trust, connection and a sense of emotional safety. If our relationships are being impacted by unhealthy dynamics that leave us triggered and harboring conscious or unconscious resentment, sexuality will be impacted or, at worst no longer exist.