Tune in to KSRO 103.5 The Canna Help You Show on February 14 (Valentines Day) to hear me share my thoughts on using cannabis for intimacy and connection.
I won’t say exactly how long cannabis has been in my life, but…
the release of Dark Side of the Moon and my first joint fall on the same calendar year. I feel like a relic of the past when I remember words like doobie, roach clips, and head shops.
That was also the year my sexuality was coming online.
So, let’s say the idea of combining consciousness altering substances with sensual pleasure is not new to me.
The legalization of cannabis is on the move across the country. Cannabis has taken it’s rightful seat at the table of health and wellness enhancement medicines.
So now that you no longer have to feel like a criminal to indulge, we can begin to have a grown-up conversation about what’s available to you as a cannabis user.
And as a sex and intimacy coach, I’m particularly excited to share openly about how to use cannabis to heighten your sensuality and intimacy with a partner.
Have You Lost Your Mind?
When it’s time to be in your body rather than your head, I hope you can answer yes, I’ve lost my mind.
In a recent quiz I just offered my peeps, 50% were a YES when asked if they were too preoccupied with negative thoughts to let go and enjoy themselves sexually.
Being stuck in our head during sex and sensuality is a number one problem for both men and women. And all that thinking can undermine our openness to being close with our partner.
Let’s look at primary ingredients of cannabis, THC and CBDs. What levels you have of these two components will dictate what impact it may have on your intimate experiences and bodily pleasures.
Cannabis with THC levels that work for you can help relieve chronic thinking that leads to anxiety, your #1 enemy when it comes to sexual performance and satisfying orgasms. It also elevates your mood and expands your perspective.
Our society has condoned the use of alcohol for eons of time to settle us down, take the edge off, and be more available to connection. Personally I don’t feel that alcohol lends itself to intimacy for many reasons.
Alcohol can lead to nausea. It’s physically addictive which leads to substance abuse and conflict. And when it comes to sex, alcohol impairs performance by numbing sensations and dulling our mental awareness in the moment. Not to mention the toxic after-effects of hangovers.
Cannabis on the other hand, brings us into the present moment and focuses our attention. It stimulates desire, creative thinking and enhances feelings of connection. It increases the intensity of our physical sensation and heightens the quality of our orgasms.
And of course the secret in using any consciousness altering substance is experimentation and moderation. If you want connection don’t get so high that you can’t be present and attuned to your partner. That’s called being a grown up and a responsible sexual partner.
Start with small amounts and increase until you discover your optimum state for intimacy with a partner, or intimacy with yourself.
And if you don’t want the ‘higher’ love, that’s ok too.
With the advent of medical grade marijuana and low dose THC, we can now get all the benefits of cannabis without or very little of the psychoactive experience.
Choose your strain of cannabis based on how you want to feel.
The two primary strains of the cannabis plant are Indica and Sativa. I recommend choosing a hybrid of the two. Indica being a body-based relaxing experience and Sativa being a more energizing and uplifting experience.
Too much of one and you’re sleeping on the couch. Too much of the other and you feel more anxious than usual. And sexually speaking moderation is key. Excessive amounts of any substance will hinder your experience by creating more disconnection with your partner than connection.
If you want the sexual benefits of Cannabis without feeling high ask for low levels of THC. Cannabis high in CBDs and low THC still gives you the benefits of creating more blood flow to the genitals and increasing nerve sensitivity. It will relax tense pelvic floor muscles and reduce vaginal pain and erection challenges.
Cannabis with high levels of CBD also eases symptoms of menopause, mood swings, sleep disturbance, and even bone loss.
Finding a perfect balance of Indica and Sativa, that work for your body and how you want to feel, as well as your preferred THC and CBD levels is your task at hand.
How do you want to feel? What are you using it for? Are you looking to get high? And if so, how high?
What application would you prefer? Smoking the flower, vaping it, eating it, applying creams, spraying oils, suppositories. All of these choices will dictate your experience as well.
There are many knowledgeable sales people in medical marijuana dispensaries who are happy to help you figure that out and recommend products with names like Bubblegum Kush, Sour Diesel, Blue Dream, Love Potion #1, and the list goes on.
Don’t be nervous about asking for something that’s good for sex and intimacy.
These people have heard it all and they’ll answer all your questions.
And don’t give up. If an edible was too strong, take less. If smoking made you a little anxious, smoke less.
Bring Me Some Higher Love
Lighting up a doobie before you make out has been around for decades, and some would argue, millennia! But experimenting with hybrids for increased desire, optimal intimacy and CBDs for blood flow and pleasure is a whole new world ready to be explored.
Being present with our partner and feeling connected is a pre-requisite to having great sex whether it’s a hook up or a long-term relationship. We’re all wanting intimacy and for many of us sex is part of what gives us that experience.
The high we experience from THC in cannabis can help us open up, share our feelings and emotionally connect to our partner. The auto-pilot, low-level stress of daily life that drives us into our heads is relaxed and released when we use the quantity of cannabis that works for our bodies.
As we age our arousal systems change and erections are less predictable. Nature forces us to slow down and bring awareness to our bodies and what they’re needing in the moment to heighten our arousal. Cannabis supports that mood of mindfulness.
As intimate partners we come together for the sake of shared pleasure; of giving and receiving, of letting love move through our bodies, of setting our inhibitions aside and letting ourselves go into physical pleasure.
We can ritualize the use of cannabis for connection with our partners (or ourselves) by bringing intention to this shared experience. By setting aside an hour (or a few), and creating a pleasing environment with our preferred music, lighting and accessories, we are setting the stage for intimacy and prioritizing pleasure. We can plan our sexual encounters and look forward to passing the pipe (or gummy bears) in a relaxed and loving space.
We have drawn from nature for consciousness altering experiences since the beginning of time. Every civilization has incorporated psychoactive medicine to serve human purposes, cannabis being one of them.
When I coach clients in using cannabis or other substances for the purpose of connection and intimacy they come to understand that these gifts of medicine from Mother Earth can remind us what we may forget sometimes.
That we are capable of more love, desire, intimacy and pleasure than we may believe. Cannabis may enhance those intimate and open places within ourselves, because they are inherently part of who we already are as lovers.
If you want to learn how to bring desire back into your sexual life, whether through cannabis or other practices, it starts with setting up a 15 min. Discovery Call with me here: