Contempt is perhaps the most destructive of all relationship behaviors. When we treat our partners with contempt, we are sending a clear message that we do not value or respect them. This can have devastating effects on the health and longevity of a relationship. Contempt can take many forms, from name-calling and insults to sarcasm and eye-rolling. It often arises when we feel angry, frustrated, or disappointed with our partner. Instead of addressing the issue in a healthy and productive way, we allow our emotions to get the better of us, and we lash out with contemptuous behaviors.

The term ‘stonewalling’ conjures up an apt metaphor of the act itself. You can imagine one partner silently, building a wall, one stone at a time, to keep the other out. After a while the wall is so high, neither partner can see over it or through it. Stonewalling is a form of emotional and physical withdrawal in which one partner in a relationship refuses to engage or communicate with the other partner in the midst of disagreements or conflict.

There are so many meaningful ways to honor your relationship on Valentine’s Day. If you need some help finding creative ways to show your appreciation, below, you’ll find a longer than average list of 50 possibilities to inspire your imagination, and infuse your V-Day with intention, imagination and open-hearted enjoyment. Choose the one you think will delight your partner, and then make it happen!

Every relationship involves some level of conflict. It’s natural for two individuals to have differing perspectives and disagree on occasion. The key to healthy conflict isn’t armoring yourself for a battle, it’s placing your armor down and getting vulnerable. That may sound very counter intuitive, but it’s the quickest and most direct route out of the confrontation. Vulnerability is the path that leads you out of the battleground.

Even in the midst of this unprecedented time, the holiday season is once again upon us. If you’re fortunate enough to have one or more loved ones around you, you’re probably giving and receiving a gift or two. I’d like to share a few thoughts I have on gifting.